Sunday, January 31, 2016

Three Types of Forgiveness and Why They Matter to Us As Leaders


Forgiveness.

We see it in public gestures like Nelson Mandela forgiving his captors after his long imprisonment or when President Ford pardoned President Nixon.

And we often see the results when there is no forgiveness.

Like in the news every day - from revenge violence to road rage to people arguing about reclining seats on airplanes.

Yes, Mandela and Ford were leaders, but how does forgiveness apply to us as "everyday" leaders?

It applies immediately and directly.

But before I share my thoughts, let's start with the three types of forgiveness. They are:

• Forgiveness of self
• Forgiveness of others
• Forgiveness of situations

As I describe each, I believe the relevance to you both personally and as a leader will become clear.
Forgiveness of Self

We all make mistakes. We all exercise poor judgment. We all screw up. It is what we do next that matters most. If, after our mistakes, we live in guilt and in the past where the mistake happened, nothing positive will come from it.

It's considered a universal truth that "we learn from our mistakes". Yet this "truth" is missing a couple of components - lessons in mistakes are there but the learning isn't guaranteed, and the learning won't come if we are living in the mistake or not willing or able to reflect on it, or won't let go of it and forgive ourselves first. A more complete statement of that truth is that "we can learn from our mistakes if we will let ourselves learn and choose to do so."

And that learning can't happen without self-forgiveness.

There are other reasons why self-forgiveness is important. It will allow ourselves to focus on the future, rather than the past, and it will allow us to reduce our stress and frustration (and makes us healthier too).

Forgiveness of Others

Admit it.

When you read the title of this article, this was probably the type of forgiveness you were thinking of.

Think for a second about the way you feel about a person who hasn't forgiven you. Do you want to be around them, or work for or with them? Are you willing to give them your best effort? Or does the barrier between you (which can include self-forgiveness too) keep you from moving forward?

When we don't forgive others, we set ourselves up for animosity, reduced productivity, more conflict and drastically lowered trust.

So how open to forgiving others are you?

Forgiveness of Situations

Things happen that might not be anyone's "fault". Do you know people who continue to dwell on a past situation that caused them grief or pain, even if it was just a situation? When we are able to forgive situations, we are able to let go of those negative feelings and move forward.

Your forgiveness of situations defines how forgiving you tend to be of negative circumstances, events, or situations that are beyond anyone's control. This would include things like illnesses, natural disasters and the like.

Can you let go of these situations so you can move forward?

If you hear yourself saying lots of "If only... " or "If it had just happened that way... " type statements, you likely have a ways to go in this area.

So What?

When we can forgive, we can move from a past focus to a future focus, which provides us with hope, accountability, and the opportunity for growth and advancement. As long as we (or others, or an entire group) are living in the past, no progress can be made.

Because error is part of being human, forgiveness allows mistakes, failure, slip ups, errors in judgment and decision making, flaws and other breakdowns to become a source of increased wisdom and learning. Without the forgiveness, the same events and situations create more divisiveness, angst, conflict and discord.

The best leaders use the practice of forgiveness to transform themselves and their organizations into forward-looking, agile learners and promote better results every day.

But?

If you are still reading and still are having reservations, it is likely that you agree with my premise, but aren't sure how to let go. Perhaps this quotation from the psychiatrist Thomas Szasz will help - "The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget."

The point is instructive. Events, mistakes and mishaps in the past can be learned from, but only if we can let them go through forgiveness. This does not mean we should forget those events, but rather put them in the proper perspective. They are events in the past that we can't change now, but we can learn from.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Kevin_Eikenberry

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/8733671

Thursday, January 28, 2016

Join Us For Our Monthly Community Clean Up on Saturday!

 
When: Saturday, January 30th, 2016 at 9am 

Where: Starbucks Downtown Fairfield 700 Jefferson St Corner of Jefferson & Texas (map)

Description: We meet every last Saturday of each month (weather permitting). We clean up different locations and neighborhoods. Please join us. All are welcome

At the Matt Garcia Foundation we don’t want to complain about this, we want to create solutions to problems. It is with this spirit that we began our Monthly Community Clean Ups.

On the last Saturday of every month, volunteers get together and clean up a neighborhood in Fairfield. We pick up trash, work on landscaping paint windows, fix fences – all in an effort to improve our community. This is another example of community coming together to help make a difference.

The Matt Garcia Foundation Dream Team, is all about stepping up and stepping out of ourselves to serve others and our communities to be a part of the solution. Matt would say ” if you see a piece of garbage on the ground, please just pick it up” How simple is that! So, that is what we do.

Monday, January 25, 2016

What Makes a Good Life? Lessons from the Longest Study on Happiness | Ro...



What keeps us happy and healthy as we go through life? If you think it's fame and money, you're not alone – but, according to psychiatrist Robert Waldinger, you're mistaken. As the director of 75-year-old study on adult development, Waldinger has unprecedented access to data on true happiness and satisfaction. In this talk, he shares three important lessons learned from the study as well as some practical, old-as-the-hills wisdom on how to build a fulfilling, long life.

Friday, January 22, 2016

Ismael Nazario: What I Learned as a Kid in Jail



As a teenager, Ismael Nazario was sent to New York’s Rikers Island jail, where he spent 300 days in solitary confinement — all before he was ever convicted of a crime. Now as a prison reform advocate he works to change the culture of American jails and prisons, where young people are frequently subjected to violence beyond imagination. Nazario tells his chilling story and suggests ways to help, rather than harm, teens in jail.

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Everyday Leadership - Drew Dudley



We have all changed someone's life -- usually without even realizing it. In this funny talk, Drew Dudley calls on all of us to celebrate leadership as the everyday act of improving each other's lives. (Filmed at TEDxToronto.)

Saturday, January 16, 2016

Support The Matt Garcia Foundation Through AmazonSmile!

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Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Sunday, January 10, 2016

Why Students Who Underperform Drop Out of School



In the U.S., one million students leave school early each year. Ray Suarez kicks off American Graduate Week with Victor Rios, Stephanie Krauss and Adam Steltzner, three individuals who know firsthand what it's like to be a high school dropout, but who ultimately turned their lives around and returned to get more education.

Monday, January 4, 2016

Clint Smith: The Danger of Silence


"We spend so much time listening to the things people are saying that we rarely pay attention to the things they don't," says slam poet and teacher Clint Smith. A short, powerful piece from the heart, about finding the courage to speak up against ignorance and injustice.

Friday, January 1, 2016

Happy New Year!


"You Are Never Too Old to Set Another Goal or to Dream a New Dream."
-C.S. Lewis